The Art of Marriage

“art: the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.”

A letter to my Love.

You are my hero, my knight in shining armor and I dedicate this post to you.

A good marriage is truly a work of art.  Leonardo da Vinci stated that:  “Where the spirit does not work with the hand there is no art.”  I’m not sure if Mr. Da Vinci meant the spirit of the man or the Spirit of God, but I believe it takes both to sculpt and polish two individuals into one.

Today marks the thirty-seventh anniversary of our covenant before God and family; family we hold so dear, many of whom have gone on to their eternal home since that day I said, “I do.”

Thirty-seven years is a long time. Remembering the memories, marrying young so we pretty much grew up together, the laughter, oh the tears, so much grief, all the fights and then making up, having four beautiful sons together, adopting my little girl, the death of both our moms, following you to three different states, housing people our entire marriage, not including Airbnb!

We are Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

How can I describe what being married to you has meant to me?  Your love is a fire; a driving passion that cannot be consumed. You faithfully get up every morning, make coffee for both of us, spend time with Jesus and then go slay dragons all day and bring home the spoil in the evening.  Yet you never tire of playing hide and seek when you come through the door, no matter how tough a day it was or how exhausted you are from the heat and your kiss is what I’ve longed for all day.  My day isn’t complete without that kiss and the one as we doze off after we pray…or I pray and you agree and then start snoring! And don’t even get me started on all the ‘projects’ you do to make me happy.  You are the most loving, patient and kind man I know.

So what makes our marriage a work of art?  Why, after thirty-seven years, are we still passionately in love with each other?  Why do I still get goosebumps when you say certain words to me? Is it because we are exceptionally odd or is it because we’ve been wrapped up in a cord of Love that won’t let us go?

Every twelve years we’ve seen major changes in our marriage:

~forsaking all to move five hundred miles away and learning how to be a family…just the three of us. But then there were five of us within three years!

~when I couldn’t even cook rice without it exploding on the ceiling!

~Rachael’s adoption before she entered kindergarten so she would be a Smith, just like you.

~beginning the life-long journey of looking deeper into who we are individually and throwing out the suitcases of legalism, abuse, pain, and lies.

~learning what the word boundaries meant.  I”m not sure we have that one down yet.

~hearing God tell you to take your family back to New York and watching Him do miracles left and right as we stepped out, risking everything, to follow Jesus.

The middle years were adventurous:

~moving back to NY and living on 102 gorgeous acres for seven hard, wonderful years

~fighting and fighting and forgiving and forgiving, determined to get this ‘one-flesh thing’ figured out…or kill each other!!!

~raising three teenagers (enough said there, huh?)

~confronting my father over the abuse due to the drinking and forgiving him.  God restored that relationship as ONLY HE could do.  Another miracle.

~Having twins! (Exhausting right?  Sleepless nights, long times away from each other.

~our baby girl marrying her knight in shining armor (and the fun the boys had with that! Such great memories.)

~The Brother Joshua Show and the laughter still today!

~housing Paulina, our forever Equadorian daughter, mom of twins herself now, years later~!  Ain’t God good!

~losing your job and moving into the city

~graduating and college for Josh and watching Daniel graduate on his terms, spread his wings and fly away…I wanna cry right here.

~hearing God speak AGAIN to move to Texas and the pain of leaving our brand new grandbaby, Hailey Daune.

~the pain of leaving family AGAIN, especially our parents and our close friends.

 

These last thirteen years has been the most challenging, yet the most glorious because you are my best friend and I am yours:

~grandbabies in NY born that we didn’t get to watch grow up.  This breaks my heart.

~experiencing so much sorrow over people’s choices and how it affected us.

~being homeless due to you losing another job

~the kindness of friends housing us.

~you getting a job at Sea World, a perk for little boys who loved it there!

~my parents moving in.  Though this was so very difficult at times, it gave our twins a relationship they will never forget.

~Josh marrying his love and giving us two more grandchildren.

~Daniel coming back to Texas only to leave again…only to return and be home for good!

~mom departing to her eternal home, heaven.  Watching her accept Jesus and dad receive forgiveness and be baptized are the highlights of this chapter.

~purchasing the house we presently call home.

 

~the birth of Joshua Liam and Zachary Logan, the delights of our life and adding to the joy of grands right around the corner.

~working as Team Smith, hosting Airbnb guests from all over the world. Now that was quite the adventure.  Glad it’s over!

~staying with your mom in NY as she silently passed to glory and missing you so badly.

~letting go of the business and embracing this season of caring for your dad.

~GETTING OUR BEDROOM BACK!

My Love, as I’ve sat here, strolling down memory boulevard, I am blown away by the life we have.

I have to believe we are not exceptional, by any means. We’re just two ordinary, broken people who serve an Extraordinary God that delights in revealing His power in brokenness.  He chose us when we were young to follow Him and then he put us together and said, “Now, the two of you, follow Me.”

What’s most remarkable is how deep our love is: a strong undercurrent of determination to see our lives impact others.

This year may be our greatest adventure yet.  I’m daring to risk it all and run with everything in me so Jesus can do all He’s had in His heart for us all these years.  Knowing that a day is a thousand years and a thousand years is as a day to Him means we aren’t late in accomplishing all we are to do together.

The art of marriage is the art of seeing what can be and working with a heart that believes God will do what He promised.  He has been faithful to us and I’m determined to be faithful to you.

You are my sexy man and I know God has great things in store for us and particularly for you.

Happy Anniversary my Love.

Forever yours,

Jef’s Girl

P.S. The road ahead may be elusive to us at present, but we know that love has wrapped up our hearts with his.

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “The Art of Marriage

  1. ahhhh the road ahead is going to be fabulous, your latter days will be greater than your former days!

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