I sit here, writing and rewriting this post because each time I read what I’ve written, I get all stirred up, jump out of my chair, walk around the house, pick up a toy lying on the floor, wash a few dishes, check the dryer and then sit back down…only to delete the words and start all over.

Words don’t seem to flow easily these days.  I’ve struggled over joining the ’31 days’ writing challenge because my thoughts are so scattered and yet I feel so passionate about writing. It feels like I’m spinning round and round, reaching out to grab hold of something that will anchor me, a guiding Hand to take the thoughts that spill from my brain to my fingers, wrestle the words to the screen and make complete sense, all the while drawing the reader in.

After reading the title of my post, it’s true I did have a goal and a direction to head…and I do. But articulating that goal is a mini putt putt golf course, you see.  One thought, like that little ball, dropped in the hole only leads to the next little area with a different place to hit the ball in and somehow THAT ball is larger, shinier and I want to pick it up, examine it and I know it won’t fit in THAT hole.

Because I made the mistake of asking my seventeen year old to listen as I read what I’ve written and give me his opinion, he said, ‘Well, it makes sense but it sounds like you’re rambling on”…and something else I won’t repeat here.

So, I suppose I’ll get to the point of my title…spotting your enemy.

 

This morning, I realized, for the first time, that I don’t have to let Satan get away with his scheme to lie about me to my husband.  Now, I know I can’t make my husband think a certain way…God knows I’ve tried for years to get him to think my way, believing my way was THE right way.  But, trust me, that’s only going to strengthen the enemy’s arsenal.  My selfishness gave Satan an opportunity to lie to my Love about me and I had to do something different to get different results in the future.

Because I am determined to never give up and to fight for our marriage, I ‘saw’ with my own eyes and heard with my own ears this morning, as we ‘discussed’ a certain issue that arose as a result of not feeling heard or loved, that my/our enemy was pitting us against each other.  

We have, as all couples do, areas of our relationship that keep resurfacing in ways that, if not dealt with in a healthy way, will sabotage our love and it doesn’t take a long time to destroy trust and faithfulness.

It is imperative to recognize how the enemy works in marriage.  He lies to you about your man.  He lies to your man about you.  This has gone on our whole married life and will continue until one of us breathes our last.  It goes on in every marriage, but today that I fought back.

When I ‘saw’ it, three things happened.

First, I declared, out loud, and if I offend someone here, I apologize…this is just the way I talk to satan…”I am going to piss on your head right now.”

Secondly, I jumped out of bed, willing to risk that my Love might not receive my heartfelt apology (because I have used tears too many times in the past to manipulate–no one else does that, right?) and I ran to the door before it closed and told him I loved him and I hugged him, holding back my tears the best I could.  He did, in fact, to the best of his ability at that moment, forgive me.

Lastly, I jumped back in bed and started to vehemently attack satan’s accusation about me in prayer. I mean, I literally declared who and whose I am, who my husband is and that our marriage belongs to God, not him.  

I believe I hand Satan weapons to destroy us every time I defend myself, try to cover my weaknesses with pointing my finger at him to deflect where I messed up or was selfish.  

Pride will kill a marriage faster than anything.  

Humility, on the other hand, will disarm the enemy immediately.  

If you don’t believe me, read on…

“So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”  James 4:7

I wish I could explain how I KNEW things were different.  Proverbs says wisdom is vindicated by her children, and the fruit came when he walked through the door at lunch, something that never happens and we kissed and Joshua yelled, ‘Papa”, and bent over giggling in delight to see him.

I am off to celebrate and piss the devil off again tonight…until tomorrow, when I pray I can share the dream I had early Sunday morning.

I guess the anchor of my soul took my thoughts and steadied my hand to complete this post.
Thank you, Daddy.