Let me preface this post with a warning: I am very dizzy today, so I cannot be held responsible for most of how my words come out.  I will take responsibility for them coming from me, though.

Short post.

We have covid.  But I am choosing to see the silver lining behind this hellacious attack on my/our bodies.

Why am I writing about it?  Perhaps to encourage others, get some things off my chest (although I did NOT have the upper respiratory version of this virus: no further explanation is necessary), because it just feels good to write and it’s been a very long time since my fingers pounded away at the keys.

Silver lining #1: we are still alive. In fact, I began feeling ill on Wednesday, and here it is Sunday, and I’m sitting at a computer writing.  That’s progress. I think it’s remarkable that the chickens have been fed daily, the cat has slept as much as we have (nothing out of the ordinary there) and ya, the dog is muddy because it rained.  Oh well.

#2: I’ve lost (and this one makes me very happy) close to ten lbs! Now I do not suggest ANYONE EVER sign up for this type of weight loss program but it happened and I hope to keep it off!

#3: I can tell I am detoxing because I smell HORRIBLE…like a smell you’d experience in an elderly hospital ward.  Gross.

#4: …and this one may or may not be a positive result of covid: I’ve had to face the thoughts that too often I prefer to ignore.  Thoughts like:  What do I really believe about God and how much do I trust Him?  I am convinced of His love for me.  Well, I say that but sometimes my actions don’t necessarily support that belief. His love for me is a no-brainer, right?  But what I mull over a LOT is how deeply and honestly do I love Him?

I’m NOT getting on any treadmill of “performing to please God”.  I did that for too long.  (Bear with me as I rant for a few sentences.)  He knows me through and through.  Yet, I see I so easily default to going through the motions of doing all the right things but my heart isn’t engaged.  I’m still on this quest to get Daddy’s approval.  Sigh.  So, maybe I don’t yet know a level of His love that I can just be me and trust He will change me anyway.  One day at a time, keep moving towards Him, and one day, when I see Him face to face, I’ll be just like Him.

There.  I got that out.  Thanks for being patient.

Getting sick means slowing down and that, at least for me involves introspection and sometimes warfare to steal my joy, peace of mind, and faith.

But this post isn’t about that.  It is supposed to be about silver linings and hope.

Having covid ‘for real’ this time, means I’ve entered a ‘club’ of sorts.  I’ve beaten the odds, my body is producing anti-bodies and the next time those germs attack, my body will say, “Hell to the NO” and I’ll be stronger!

It also means I’ve sucker-punched the narrative and fear that has permeated the world for the last two years.

I will continue to walk by faith, live by faith, and grow in faith because “In Him, I live and move and have my being.” Acts 17:28

Until next time,

Daune